+ + ThE FReaKsHoW + +

THE FREAKSHOW: 

 Supposedly one of the munchkins from The Wizard Of Oz?

 

 Wish I would've had my exposure set right for this one because she was posing for me.

He liked me... a lot!

NOTE:  Singed eyelashes and brows.

An obvious job hazard.

 What side-show would be complete w/out a sword swallower?

My attention was diverted to the beautiful sunset outside the tent..

Possibly my favorite shot:  

I still don't know how it came out so clear considering I didn't use a tripod and my balance was probably sub-par from an afternoon of beer-guzzling.

I really wish Tammy Faye & Pa Tuckett hadn't infiltrated the HAWT Gravitron shot.

 T-Dizzle really liked his first ride on the Tilt-A-Whirl!

 He promised never to talk shit about such a "lame" ride ever again.  

Then demanded we ride it a few more times!
~ I HATE FLASH. ~
-_-

First ((and lamest)) attempt at shooting fireworks from the parking lot at the end of the night.

St. Patties Day Leperchaun FIRE (2010)

There I was at the home of my friend Mr. BoozeyNoodles 
[the bartender of my once favorite (now non-existant) bar] 
when I remembered my camera and how I've never tried to photograph one of the most intriguing elements:

FIRE!

 I thought this log resembled a dragon...

Then it turned into a finger-gun?

THIS PRICELESS GEM is open for interpretation.... 

Rolling Stones tongue logo?

Mouf?

Now tilt your head slightly to the right when viewing the following photo...

DERTY.

WELCOME BITCHES!

So here I finally started a photography blog.

This took about 4,630 years to put together and I've only come this far!

Barf.

No More Mr. Nice Guy...

(10/1/10)

I was shopping at my neighborhood hippie grocery store yesterday afternoon after a seemingly endless day of work.
Tired, crabby, and just wanting to go home to nap for the next 750,000 years I was in no mood for humans.
I survey some scrumptious green beans, and wait for the scary, bespectacled hippie bitch to get done eating them.
I handpick a small satchel of goodies all the while she is staring at me off to my left.

In a small voice I hear, "I think you're suppose to use the tongs for those."
I ignore her thinking:
'I THINK YOU ARE SUPPOSE TO PAY FOR THEM BEFORE YOU EAT THEM!'
She repeats herself.
'I THINK YOU ARE SUPPOSE TO WASH THEM BEFORE YOU CONSUME THEM ANUS-FACE!'I continue to molest the locally grown green beanie goodness...
Finally, she steps closer to me, "I think you're suppose to use the tongs for those."
Agitated, tired and sick of being a sweet young lady I turn to her, look her dead in the eye and say, "You can suck my ass!"
I turn around and go my merry way.
Behind me I hear her freaking out.
Not so much saying actual words, but uttering a bunch of indecipherable grunts and such in her naughty new not-so-indoor voice.

For a split second I am afraid her reaction will cause the others in the vicinity to suspect me of theft, assault or some other situation in which I would be forced to explain myself to authorities

For the first time that day, a huge smile is plastered to my face and remains there until I return to my home.


I'm sorry, but sometimes I just get sick of being the sweet, helpful, law-abiding individual I am.
And sometimes you just have to put some over-privileged white cunt in her righteous place.
And DAMN did it ever feel good!
My gay husband is on his way to take us out for adult beverages and nosh on some oceanic asian delights!

OLD COLLEGE ASSIGNMENT

DOWNTOWN AT DUSK

((8/3/06))

MY journey starts off in the public restroom at Borders where a woman is taking a shower in the sink.  From there I descend the stairs to Starbucks where my coffee and friends wait.  We move out to the patio where we sit in the hard Panera chairs.  From here we rest after a long walk around the block and observe the sights and sounds of the [pretty] city.  I observe the last of the afternoon sin kissing the corners of the buildings that surround us.  People of all ethnicity pass by carrying small bags, large bags, briefcases, bouquets of flowers and a barrage of other things.   City buses stop and load and unload passengers  while filling the already dirty air with exhaust and other toxic gases.  Shopkeepers pack up their produce quickly to get their day done.  Bikers walk their bicycles past us as a homeless man fishes aluminum cans out  of the garbage which he proceeds to crush and add to his [semi] lucrative collection.  Another homeless man -slightly resembling Santa Claus - paces back and forth across the street while opening and closing his mouth in an obsessive-compulsive manner.

     I hear city buses, amiable chatter amongst the streetwalkers, a giggle from a gaggle of girls sitting nearby, the near-silent whisper of sneakers [smooching] passing over the granite sidewalk, the trucks and wheels of a passing skateboarder, and jackhammers and drills from a nearby construction sight [zone].  The city stinks of old produce from the market that stood on the corner all day.  The city also stinks of city bus exhaust and there is a subtle mingle  of perfume from the passer-bys.

I taste my warm chocolate coffee and I am sent to “FLAVOR COUNTRY” from the nicotine from my Marlboro Medium cigarette.

I feel the slight breeze of the oncoming night, the subtle warmth from my large mocha coffee, the warm city air, the hard chair under my arse, and a tickling from the slight breeze pushing the stray hairs out of my face.